My Angel
Christmas is quickly approaching and all I can think about is my boy. (can't use names-confidentiality). Starts with M ends with L. You know who. Anyway, I'm afraid he's going to spend Christmas in the hospital. His tonsils are inflamed, enlarged and pussy. His temperature has been up to 41 C. He started antibiotics yesterday and has been on Tempra, since the weekend. But with all of the vomiting, I'm not sure how well its working. I worked with him yesterday, and he got lots and lots of cuddles but tonight I was in a different house. I stopped in for a few minutes to see how he was doing, he just asked for his basket of books. When I left at midnight, I popped my head in and he was sleeping. But the nurse told me that his oxygen level hadn't been stable and it sounded like she was a little worried.
Unfortunately, his parents will not agree to have his tonisls removed. Even though they have nothing to do with him, they make all of his medical decisions. We're the ones that heard his first words, experienced him lose his first baby tooth, kiss him goodnight, comfort him when he's sick, get puked on, read him his bedtime stories and tuck him into bed every night. We're the ones who love him, yet we have no say. His mother dumped him on our doorstep and she'll be relieved if he doesn't live to see his 6th birthday, he's just a burrden. They're the ones that made him DNR and we're the ones that would have to watch him die, if God forbid he ever needed CPR.
The system SUCKS! And I feel like a small, tiny voice inside a large, loud room of authority. What can I do? All the old nurses have seen it a thousand times and just accept it. I can't accept it, not just because he's my boy. But his parents don't know him! They don't see what we see, they're not around. He's a real little boy inside a body that doesn't cooperate with him. I know I'm too close to him, everyone knows that; but it doesn't mean I'm not thinking rationally. Is it crazy to care? Is it crazy to see him as a little boy? Not just a client?
Thought/Quote of the day...........
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life-The Fray
Unfortunately, his parents will not agree to have his tonisls removed. Even though they have nothing to do with him, they make all of his medical decisions. We're the ones that heard his first words, experienced him lose his first baby tooth, kiss him goodnight, comfort him when he's sick, get puked on, read him his bedtime stories and tuck him into bed every night. We're the ones who love him, yet we have no say. His mother dumped him on our doorstep and she'll be relieved if he doesn't live to see his 6th birthday, he's just a burrden. They're the ones that made him DNR and we're the ones that would have to watch him die, if God forbid he ever needed CPR.
The system SUCKS! And I feel like a small, tiny voice inside a large, loud room of authority. What can I do? All the old nurses have seen it a thousand times and just accept it. I can't accept it, not just because he's my boy. But his parents don't know him! They don't see what we see, they're not around. He's a real little boy inside a body that doesn't cooperate with him. I know I'm too close to him, everyone knows that; but it doesn't mean I'm not thinking rationally. Is it crazy to care? Is it crazy to see him as a little boy? Not just a client?
Thought/Quote of the day...........
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life-The Fray
posted by Miss McCann | 10:06 PM
2 Comments:
I should have stopped reading after the first sentence. Oh Joanne-y your job breaks my heart. I know I always make fun of the devil child you were but now it looks like you're the one we should be calling Angel.
Oh my word, I just sobbed all over my keyboard. I love that you love so deeply. I would not be able to do what you do, but I am so glad you do it. Another thing, the system does suck, and it takes people like you to try to do things, as much as you can, to make a difference. Love you!
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