Seriously!!! Not For The Faint Of Heart
I witnessed my first death this weekend.
I've always been lucky to avoid death. I would know someone was sick, be off a couple days and then come back and they'd be gone. In my four years, I've never really dealt with a dying person. The closest I came, was in the summer. A client became violently ill, I nursed him until the ambulance came. He never came back. So I could always just tell myself, they went to a better place, and think no more of it. Unitl last night.
I knew she had been sick, but when I arrived on shift and they told me that she had received her last rights that day, I knew it was grim. With the three of us working, we managed to take care of everyone else and have one of us at her bedside at all times. She was on 12% oxygen (Most of our sick people are on about 3 - 5%), her breathing was laboured and every now and then she'd hold it and I'd think -that's it. But she'd bounce back. I sat from 9pm, until, 12 am. And only left for a few minutes at a time. When I'd leave, though she wasn't verbal, she'd call out. When I'd return she'd clench my hand and close her eyes again. I sang to her and made her as comfortable as possible. When I left at midnight, I felt like that was it, I said good-bye and kissed her on her forehead. I felt sorry for the night staff as I saw the nurse get out the forms, I knew what they were for.
At 8am I returned to the neighbouring house, the first thing I did, was walk through and go straight to her. I didn't ask anyone if she was still there, I needed to see. I peeked slowly through the bedroom door and she was there! Oxygen still going, almost in the same position, I had left her. They told me her vital signs had plumetted in the middle of the night and they thought she was gone. They repositioned her and she went back up to normal levels. I went in and talked to her, she didn't open her eyes, but I went on anyway. (They say, hearing is the last thing to go.) I pinned an angel to the teddy she sleeps with and touched her hand, she didn't grasp it tightly like she had the past evening, but I could tell she tried.
Her family came and she was surrounded by people all morning. My shift ended at 12(noon) and I went in to say good-bye (this time) I felt for the last time. Her breathing was louder now, and her vital signs were lingering in the lower zones. I kissed her again on her forehead, rubbed her arm, leaned in real close and said good-bye sweetie....I wanted to say more but I had to take a deep breath and try and get my heart out of my throat; as her family watched.
I received a message on my cell phone that she had passed at 1:02pm. She waited until the family left. The staff were with her, one of them has been working there for 30 years, and has taken care of her for many of those.
I love what I do! But times like these, I wonder why I love it so much. When I told Mom, she didn't want to hear about it at all, she said, I don't know how you do it? And I just said without thinking, I don't know how to, not do it.
Thought/Quote of the Day............
"To beable to share some of your hearache with another, is to finally feel relief."
I've always been lucky to avoid death. I would know someone was sick, be off a couple days and then come back and they'd be gone. In my four years, I've never really dealt with a dying person. The closest I came, was in the summer. A client became violently ill, I nursed him until the ambulance came. He never came back. So I could always just tell myself, they went to a better place, and think no more of it. Unitl last night.
I knew she had been sick, but when I arrived on shift and they told me that she had received her last rights that day, I knew it was grim. With the three of us working, we managed to take care of everyone else and have one of us at her bedside at all times. She was on 12% oxygen (Most of our sick people are on about 3 - 5%), her breathing was laboured and every now and then she'd hold it and I'd think -that's it. But she'd bounce back. I sat from 9pm, until, 12 am. And only left for a few minutes at a time. When I'd leave, though she wasn't verbal, she'd call out. When I'd return she'd clench my hand and close her eyes again. I sang to her and made her as comfortable as possible. When I left at midnight, I felt like that was it, I said good-bye and kissed her on her forehead. I felt sorry for the night staff as I saw the nurse get out the forms, I knew what they were for.
At 8am I returned to the neighbouring house, the first thing I did, was walk through and go straight to her. I didn't ask anyone if she was still there, I needed to see. I peeked slowly through the bedroom door and she was there! Oxygen still going, almost in the same position, I had left her. They told me her vital signs had plumetted in the middle of the night and they thought she was gone. They repositioned her and she went back up to normal levels. I went in and talked to her, she didn't open her eyes, but I went on anyway. (They say, hearing is the last thing to go.) I pinned an angel to the teddy she sleeps with and touched her hand, she didn't grasp it tightly like she had the past evening, but I could tell she tried.
Her family came and she was surrounded by people all morning. My shift ended at 12(noon) and I went in to say good-bye (this time) I felt for the last time. Her breathing was louder now, and her vital signs were lingering in the lower zones. I kissed her again on her forehead, rubbed her arm, leaned in real close and said good-bye sweetie....I wanted to say more but I had to take a deep breath and try and get my heart out of my throat; as her family watched.
I received a message on my cell phone that she had passed at 1:02pm. She waited until the family left. The staff were with her, one of them has been working there for 30 years, and has taken care of her for many of those.
I love what I do! But times like these, I wonder why I love it so much. When I told Mom, she didn't want to hear about it at all, she said, I don't know how you do it? And I just said without thinking, I don't know how to, not do it.
Thought/Quote of the Day............
"To beable to share some of your hearache with another, is to finally feel relief."
posted by Miss McCann | 4:04 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home