thinking one thing, saying another.
After almost a year, we came face to face Saturday night. Outside smoking, at the end of the night, we managed a few minutes alone. There wasn't a lot said, but I feel like a lot came from it, just the same. It was like we never left the Stampede, he played all the same games, except I have a new game!!! I think it threw him.
I let him take the lead, let him come to me and let him do the talking. So he told me a lot about Newfoundland, his job(laidoff from), reasons to stay, reasons to go... and things like that. I only inserted tactful, oh yeah's and nods and the expected -polite small talk. I got the stong feeling like he wanted me to say more, every now and then he would pause and we would just look at eachother and it seemed as if we knew, we were both thinking about something else, but just wouldn't say. It was weird, but only awkward before he started talking. Once that happened it was like the ice was broken and I'm glad he did it, because I wasn't about to. I don't know if he wanted a reason to stay, but I wont give him one. He needs to find his own reasons.
I wasn't cold, I don't think, I wasn't hot, I was just warm. We all went our seperate ways at the end of the night, which was good! I didn't get myself into trouble!!!
Apparently, he talked to both Mom and Dad. Dad even invited him over for a beer sometime! (mortified!!) No, seriously I'm really glad they were cool. I wouldn't want him to think I bashed him for a year and black listed him, that would make me look like a crazy! This way, I can be neutral.
Then tonight I was out with MR when DW called asked her to pick them up. So she told him I was driving, he said whatever and we went to pick them both up. DW was being an arrogant drunk and BW... he was pretty quiet, but friendly enough. We dropped BW off and then I dropped MR and DW off at her house. Not a whole lot was said, except DW asked, if I had beer at my house; I told him we were selling the extra cases from last night. He then said, there you go BW go over and have a beer with her father, he told you to. BW didn't say a word, just smerked, knowing I could see him in my rearview.
I don't know why I went to pick them up, it just seemed like I would have been running away and avoiding him if I hadn't (given the situation.) I want to be cool, neutral and Zen. You know?
BW said he's probably going back this week, I guess thats it. He told me a whole lot of other crap too, but who knows if that will ever happen. I wont hold my breath.
Thought/Quote of the day...If you stand still outside you can hear it… Winter’s footsteps, the sound of falling leaves -Takayuki Ikkaku
I let him take the lead, let him come to me and let him do the talking. So he told me a lot about Newfoundland, his job(laidoff from), reasons to stay, reasons to go... and things like that. I only inserted tactful, oh yeah's and nods and the expected -polite small talk. I got the stong feeling like he wanted me to say more, every now and then he would pause and we would just look at eachother and it seemed as if we knew, we were both thinking about something else, but just wouldn't say. It was weird, but only awkward before he started talking. Once that happened it was like the ice was broken and I'm glad he did it, because I wasn't about to. I don't know if he wanted a reason to stay, but I wont give him one. He needs to find his own reasons.
I wasn't cold, I don't think, I wasn't hot, I was just warm. We all went our seperate ways at the end of the night, which was good! I didn't get myself into trouble!!!
Apparently, he talked to both Mom and Dad. Dad even invited him over for a beer sometime! (mortified!!) No, seriously I'm really glad they were cool. I wouldn't want him to think I bashed him for a year and black listed him, that would make me look like a crazy! This way, I can be neutral.
Then tonight I was out with MR when DW called asked her to pick them up. So she told him I was driving, he said whatever and we went to pick them both up. DW was being an arrogant drunk and BW... he was pretty quiet, but friendly enough. We dropped BW off and then I dropped MR and DW off at her house. Not a whole lot was said, except DW asked, if I had beer at my house; I told him we were selling the extra cases from last night. He then said, there you go BW go over and have a beer with her father, he told you to. BW didn't say a word, just smerked, knowing I could see him in my rearview.
I don't know why I went to pick them up, it just seemed like I would have been running away and avoiding him if I hadn't (given the situation.) I want to be cool, neutral and Zen. You know?
BW said he's probably going back this week, I guess thats it. He told me a whole lot of other crap too, but who knows if that will ever happen. I wont hold my breath.
Thought/Quote of the day...If you stand still outside you can hear it… Winter’s footsteps, the sound of falling leaves -Takayuki Ikkaku
posted by Miss McCann | 7:37 PM
3 Comments:
The post I was waiting all weekend for! You know what I think, of him, you and you both together...at least I think you do. Knowing you like I do, I don't think he would have it easy a second time around anyway. I support everything you do, wholeheartedly. I will have your back any time. Kisses
Thanks dude!
I don't know what is going to happen, but its good to have your support no matter what.
Kisses right back at yah!
I have your back too - just behind Andrea! I would have loved to see the exchange between the two of you. Maybe 'closure' is what you needed more than him here. You needed him to know that you were OK, were always going to be OK and that whether he is in NF or ON that things wouldn't be the way they were between you.
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